fallen

while searching for wedding songs,
(for my cousin,not me!)
i stumbled onto this song....
ahhh....
love is in the air

enjoy=)

what if

i've been searching forever for this song!

trying to smile

so we have had THE talk. we have been having butterflies in our stomach and were dreading this day. it made things rather weird. or maybe we shouldn't have had the talk. but i dunno. the damage or repair has been done. we have reached no conclusion. its back to square one. its okay. we've tried. but if things still cant work out all i can say is i've tried my best. all its left to the rest and the stars above. maybe im thinking too much. maybe we girls are just too sensitive. so yea im going with the flow now. letting nature takes its course? im letting things be the way they are.




BEST FRIENDS WILL ALWAYS REMAIN BEST FRIENDS NO MATTER HOW LONG THEY'VE BEEN APART.

signing off now,
leaving the broken pieces on the floor,
not finding the missing pieces,
standing in the middle of this maze,
all i can do is close my eyes,
and listen to the sounds of yesterdays.

of monkeys, mending broken friendships and deepest condolences

fyi oh just great i woke up to my mother's screamings that a monkey entered the house and threw our plastic apple out of anger. interesting no?

______________________________________________________________




the greatest conversations always happened in the car. i have had numerous of great conversations that i could replay time and time again in a car. today i talked to her. its so good to be able to open up to her. actually we were not 'talking'. we were shouting all our thoughts out. it feels so good to let it all out. its good to yell all these stuff that have been on my mind. i hate to keep things bottled up inside me. thats what you get when you put a person who is the exact replica of madeline and madeline herself trying to sort things out. to bare it all to the world. we were expressing ourselves with so much hand gestures and words...in english, hokkien, mandarin, bahasa malaysia. arms were flying. words were everywhere. yet it felt so good to let it flow. we were angry, frustrated, and disappointed at how things are now. we feel like over-turning tables and throwing chairs. but then again, there is the whole EGO issue. like its very hard to bring ourselves to shallow our pride and ego and make the first move to try to mend things now. (ego is bitter and fattening kays?) and there's the whole we-are-girls issue!


so now how should we solve this puzzle? how do we entangle this web of lies, confusion and misunderstandings that have been spun to keep things better but just backfired because anyone can see that its a no-brainer to lie and all the misunderstandings due to pride and feelings again?


cant things just go back to the way they are? i do not believe in fate when it comes to love and friendship. okays, i believe that chance and fate plays a minor role to spark things off but the rest is up to us to cultivate. friendship is a two-way process. dude i need your co-operation here. cant we just talk things through? im tired of all this acting. we need to sit and talk. four of us. period.



i need more ideas and suggestions on how to save a friendship. i refuse to give up on us just yet.


__________________________________________________________________


and my deepest condolences to you, my dear friend.
im sorry that you've lost her.
its never easy to lose anyone but its the hardest to lose them when nobody see it coming.
she has gone to a better place.
and will be a guardian angel and forever watch over you and your family from above.
her time has come,
she had went up first and will be waiting in the heavens.
im here for you if you ever need anything.
im just a phone call away.
we are all here.
i'll keep you and your family in my prayers tonight.

why is the world such an evil place?
how dare those people just stab without conscious?
can you sleep if you've killed someone?
you've taken away not only a person's life,
but she is also a mother,
a wife,
a daughter,
a friend,
an aunt,
an employer,
a contributer to the society,
a person who can make a difference in this world in her very own way.

_________________________________________________________________

*praying for the world to be a better place*
and for God to watch over all the people that i care about.

to darling ting, we all miss you!

ting dear dont kembang after reading this k?
muacks and i miss you too!



[00:44] zi hong: i miss cheah su ting!
[00:44] zi hong: lol
[00:44] zi hong: where's she laa
[00:44] ~madelliscious~* Marriage is just a license for sex while love is a reason used to get a chick laid. "*: I NOE
[00:44] ~madelliscious~* Marriage is just a license for sex while love is a reason used to get a chick laid. "*: i miss her too
[00:44] ~madelliscious~* Marriage is just a license for sex while love is a reason used to get a chick laid. "*: jz talked 2 her yday
[00:45] ~madelliscious~* Marriage is just a license for sex while love is a reason used to get a chick laid. "*: her internet got prob
[00:45] ~madelliscious~* Marriage is just a license for sex while love is a reason used to get a chick laid. "*: so u call her la





more nonsense.....


[00:53] zi hong: no ma
[00:53] zi hong: long time din see her d
[00:53] zi hong: she ar..
[00:53] zi hong: duno y la
[00:53] ~madelliscious~* Marriage is just a license for sex while love is a reason used to get a chick laid. "*: hahaha since july
[00:53] ~madelliscious~* Marriage is just a license for sex while love is a reason used to get a chick laid. "*: =(
[00:53] ~madelliscious~* Marriage is just a license for sex while love is a reason used to get a chick laid. "*: she's one of a kind
[00:53] ~madelliscious~* Marriage is just a license for sex while love is a reason used to get a chick laid. "*: dats y we all miss her
[00:53] zi hong: see her ni she'll be the one who'll make your day
[00:53] zi hong:
[00:54] zi hong: gotta admit
[00:54] zi hong: the only one i know
[00:54] zi hong: can't get another friend like that
[00:54] ~madelliscious~* Marriage is just a license for sex while love is a reason used to get a chick laid. "*: yups



lols....dont you regret for not coming back to penang during this break now? =p
luv you,muacks!

PLEASE LET ME CHANGE GROUP

OMG.
i just received like the possibly worst email in the world.

MISS LAI JUST ASSIGNED ME TO THE WORST GROUP IN THE WORLD.

OMG.
i dont usually whine and make such a big fuss nor do i mean to cause any drama as i am perfectly fine with everybody in the whole biology class and oh wells i am 99% positive that the whole biology class is NOT okay with this certain girl. (no its not mich or lishan so you guys can easily guess who i am talking about here) its SHE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED (for it might contaminate my blog with KUTU). omg... what am i supposed to do now? and this presentation is gonna cost us alot of marks for our coursework marks and if the whole group cant work together HOW?
please please please let me hear a positive response from miss lai.
please.



I NEED A SHOWER CAP TO COVER MY CROWNING GLORY FROM INFECTIOUS ITCH and i need hugs from all my friends to go through with this ordeal. i know i may sound like a drama queen now but omg i bet every other person in my group agrees with me on this matter. *sighs*




on a lighter note,
i dyed my hair and went for hair treatment today.
i feel so pretty now.
whee.
i feel lk a sunsilk model.
*flings my hair*
*rolls my hair with my finger*
*beams to self*
( i know i sound like a bimbo now but oh what the hell this is my blog anyways and i am entitled to write WHATEVER i want.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and yes BITCHING mode is on full mode now
RED ALERT.
i miss high school.
i miss coffee session.
and i miss ME.

_____________________________________________________________

happy 18th brithday teikhong!
may all your dreams come true and may you get fairer.
=)

HOW COME???

ok now i am wondering
how on earth did you guys find out?
hmmmmm

3rd post of the day

well i guess alot is on my head today
i really couldnt sleep at all after 10.30am (i came home from club at 3.30am , prepared liying's stuff till 6am,went over to liying's at 6.20am, came home at 8.20am, slept till 10.30am)
so i had two hours of sleep today
and im still up now
something's wrong with me.
im very tired.
and yet my eyes just cant seem to close.
my head feels very very heavy
but i just cant sleep.
was online-ing and watching movies whole day
then went to gym after dinner

sitting at the playground
talking to liying
trying to stop the tears from flowing again
I HATE BIDDING FAREWELLS
oh wells that's gonna be the last malaysian phone call i receive from her till next year
im gonna miss talking on the phone with you as if there's no tomorrow
i have a feeling that my phone bill is gonna hit sky high
full of russian and australian numbers
hmm anybody noes of how can i make cheaper international calls?
my money is running D-R-Y.



why do you say those lines if you dont mean them?
have been feeling pissing
IDK why
sleep deprivation i guess
girl you gotta train yourself to be numb
and then you will not feel anything anymore
ahh bliss!

on a lighter note,
maddy is turning into a very home-y girl
she stayed at home on a friday and sunday night
despite invitations for dinner,outings, party blah blah blah
she stayed home.
im so proud of you!
*beams to self*

should i? or should i not?

Daily Extended: September 22, 2008

AQUARIUS

January 20-February 18

There have been more and more misunderstandings going on in your social circle lately, and this needs to come to a halt -- it is causing too much stress and useless discourse. Next time confusion erupts, you need to get the interested parties in the same room together. Trying to solve this issue over email is only going to make the problem worse. You can't move on to more good times unless you put an end to arguments and tension. Honesty is the fastest, smartest route to take, too.


hmmm...so should i follow what my horoscope says now?

anybody?

and now im watching P.S. I LOVE YOU
i just needed to let it flow for a while...

anybody wanna watch MAMMA MIA with me?

A rollercoaster ride of emotions

the evening started off smoothly,
me and tingen catching up
then carmen came over and off we went to gurney for dinner.

tingen d old hag chit-chatting n knitting

BELATED 19th BIRTHDAY MISS CARMEN TEOH JIA WERN!
my senior,
my schoolmate,
my clubbing kaki,
my gossip queen,
my babe,
my friend.

we wanted to watch MAMMA MIA but it was too late.
so instead we sipped tea in WINTER WARMERS and have lil chats like sophisticated young ladies *lols*
enjoying ourselves laughing silly and just plain catching up
till a certain 'cicak sial' came and sit the the next table
then poor lil tingen couldnt eat in peace anymore =.=
hahaha

so after dinner,we went to mega que while i went over to meet mable and WENLIN! yes! wenlin is BACK. ahh...finally some sisterly bonding time coming up soon! together we headed to goodall to meet with the boys (colin,greg,yk,yj,shaun jin,lst,liang,ck,chuckie n ping n another girl). such jokers la they la. they have never failed to make me laugh. GREG da monkey with braces,was so clumsy that he spilled teh-ais on the sotong...ishh... then they left to their lil 'gambling den' and were replaced with javen,yuwei,tzouen,choonchiat&beh?


and then we managed to convince mab and wenlin to club with us...
it was my 1st time clubbing with wenlin! (high 5 sister!)
we girls were busy club-hopping yesterday night
from S.S. to FAME to MOIS to FAME to S.S. to FAME to S.S to FAME
(u get the drift =p)
i had so much fun laughing at wenlin...ahh...sexytyre ur oh-so-sexy when you dance...
and then was protecting tingen from 'cicak sial' at the dancefloor of MOIS [at least i pushed you to above-average-looking dudes and not some gatal lala =p]
i had fun...de-stressing and dancing with my babes

fame

mois

how can my twin not know how to dance? =p

candid =)

we weren't really dressed to club but we had fun neways =)

but by the time we left upr
you get three emo girls sitting in a car.
each with our own issues
and the conclusion of the night is
'DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING AND YOUR HEART WILL BE SAFE'
guys=dickheads [i am not blaming the guys for being dickheads because due to the pull of gravity,blood rush to their dick faster than the blood flowing to their brains...therefore guys often think with their dicks. that makes em dickheads..see its all science.]

i reached home after mamak at 3.30am
bathed and washed my hair to get rid of those cigarette smoke smell..ewee...installed the new shower curtain in my toilet by myself (see dats what happens when there is no man in the house)
and then continue working on liying's farewell present till 6am.
woke her up and that bugger was still asleep and she was the one telling me that she will be leaving for kl at 7am. drove like a zombie to her house. was busy heating my own head against the headrest to keep awake when i was going down the winding road of batu ferringhi. picked yuhting from her house and then off we went to liying's. she was still in pajamas while i was stoning away on the sofa.

By 8am,she left for kl.said my goodbyes,hugged her for what it feels like eternity and kissed her goodbye (hey i wont be able to see my BESTIE for 10 frigging months okays cause she is heading to russia to pursue med) i was amazed at how well i could how my emotions this time...no tears while i bid farewell to her, till when i opened her card to me, thats when the tears started flowing while i was driving back home. so yes now get a crying zombie trying to get home and i managed to reach home by 8.20ish? (such an amazing feat for a crying zombie 20 mins from island glades to batu ferringhi k?)

i never knew this day was coming so soon
the time when we will all be chasing our dreams
goodbye my friend,
GOODBYE MISS SOO LI YING
thank you for always being there
thank you for keeping me on the right track all the time
i need you to keep me on my toes
missing you already =(



love you babe!

slept till 10ish? and here i am now.

To tingen, carmen and myself:

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is dandy
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why all good things come to an end?

Travelling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stayYoung and restless
Living this way I stress
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets it and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

cease all hope,
lets all start afresh
things should not have been this way
we have all foresee this scene
crossroads came
different trains were taken
paths changed
now everyone's leaving to their own destination
we are all entangled in this web
i can still hear the laughters that we once shared in my ears
lets all start anew
by a simple,
'Hi, my name is madeline and you are?'

Tagged by tracy

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:

Madeline,maddy,mad
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD :

- madeline
-bored&lonelygirl (omg girls DO NOT PUT THAT AS YOUR SCREEN NAME..*SHUDDERS*)
-MADELLISCIOUS
hahahaha.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

- My smile
- My legs *lols*
- My straight teeth

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

- my chubi chubi thing
-my cute cute thang
-d oh-so-cute-and-cuddly-parts of me=(


THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:

- well im a BabaNyonya
dats makes my ancestors Chinese+Malay
but me no islam k...lols

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

- FAILING SOMETHING
- losing people that matters & my precious stuff
-HORROR MOVIES...lols

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

- oxygen
-SLEEP
-a smile =)

Cannot survive without 'em!

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW:

- pink cottonshop pajamas (by chengyee jo-ey &drest4my bday=)
-brown boxers
-me specs/glasses


THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:

- lets change this question to type of music that i like kays?
me luv pop
me luv r n b
me luv jazz
me luv oldies

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW):

girl from ipanema
all good things come to an end
lucky

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP

- Respect
- Love
-FRIENDSHIP

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:

- THICK EYEBROWS
- height
- broad shoulders & strong arms =p


THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:

- Shopping
- READING
- just chilling out doing mindless things with great company


THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:

- SHOPPING.
- SLEEP!
- Laugh

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:

- Dentist
- Lawyer
- Journalist
-Music teacher (stress le!)


THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:

- VENICE
- Paris
- Europe
- Hawaii (LETS GO LANGKAWI!!! SAND,SUN,BEACH n DUTY FREE STUFF lk CHOCS n BOOZE!)


THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

- be a millionaire
- marry a billionaire
- and save the world!!!!


THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL/GUY:

- I have no 'bird bird', 'lil-bro' or penis =p
- I like PINK.
- I like guys.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE NOT STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL/GUY:

- i love wearing boxers.
- I DONT ACT CUTE,WEAK or VULNERABLE just to get a guy's attention.
-i am miss independent! woohoo

FIVE PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:

yuhting,karmun,florence,mable,sexytyre *lols*

bye bye trials

ITS OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

FINALLY

I CAN ACTUALLY SLEEP FOR MORE THAN 5 HOURS tonight!!!!

neways i died again...
i died for 3rd time d this week...once during math,then during chem and lastly during physics...
gosh.....


AND WHOEVER WHO TOOK MY PHYSICS BOOK,NOTES,REVISION NOTES AND PHYSICS EVERYTHING WILL YOU PLEASE KINDLY RETURN THEM TO ME PLEASE. I LEFT THEM IN THE HALL AND WENT OUT TO GRAB LUNCH BEFORE BIO PAPER STARTS AND POOF....ONE WHOLE STACK OF PHYSICS THINGS JUST DISAPPEARED!!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE RETURN THEM TO ME. thanks!



p/s- im so sorry for abandoning everyone lately, canceling appointments, not being there for you guys especially to my babes and 'sista', sorry to liying for not being able to spend more time with you before you leave for russia.

ahh its time for me for me to untangle a few knots now...

_______________________________________________


and guess what i did after my bio paper ended today?
whee i went shopping with yuhting and terrence and then had dinner with LIYING, yuhting, terrence and eiven.
hahaha...

JOKE OF THE DAY:

EGG

two eggs
fried eggs
FLAT EGGS
fried oyster's egg
terrence's eggs
YUHTING LOVES EGGS

liying and i

hahaha its been so long since i laughed so hard....thanks to you guys =)
and then we went Penang Bowl
coz some 'humble' bowler said he felt like bowling
hahaha
laughed even more there

look at my new heels!!!

then me liying and yuhting went to visit poor hendry who was admitted to the hospital due to food poisoning. (haha see im not the only one who is always in the hosp!)

his baby pillow n bloster..so cute la...

and dats poor hendry n deriss

and to liying and yuhting,
I REALLY MISS YOU BOTH!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

learning to be numb
though that is not the best way
but im gonna take the easiest way out
and take a bow.

*pics coming up soon*

looking with an open heart

sitting opposite her
this time i really look at her
no more hate
no more dislike
no more inferiority
just looking at her
then i realize
that i was wrong all these while
she is really all of it
she's really everything that i can never be
i admit
i was just jealous
i was creating this fugly image of her in my head
just to make myself right
just to make myself feel better and more superior than her
she is pretty
sweet indeed
and smart
oh wells
i guess thats why he fell for her
it doesnt matter now
nothing matters anymore
its all over
it ends now

im gonna stop being a bitch from now onwards

everything has its time and place

my time will come

and when its here

im gonna be okay =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

p/s-i love you jo-ey,always do,always will...friends forever...thanks for being there for me even when you dont realize it...

hahaha.....

i'll be studying at GREENLANE Mcd 2mr...anybody wanna join me?any physics and bio whiz?

*kisses*

death certificate of mua

I JUST DIED.

CAUSE OF DEATH: MATHS EXAMS WHICH IS TOO DIFFICULT HENCE CAUSED RESPIRATORY DISFUNCTION AND BRAIN DAMAGE.

VENUE OF DEATH:DISTED STAMFORD COLLEGE HALL

TIME OF DEATH:SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 2PM-5PM

DATE OF DEATH:15TH SEPT 2008.

may madeline-da-great rest in peace.

PEOPLE, please send me red roses for my funeral. i only want red roses,nothing but red roses. if you guys fail to do that within a week, i'll come back and haunt you people in your dreams. to those people who sent me red roses, i'll appear in your dreams to give u 4-digit.

anyways im here ranting in my blog now coz im stuck in d library after math paper ended as mum just called and said that the car is in the clinic now.

and my friends just commented on how me and exams just never go hand-in-hand together.

looking back....

last year,spm trials....

my tyre punctured halfway at the winding road of vale of tempe/tanjung bungah while i was going to school. i panicked and was scanning my handphone list to look for a superhero to come save me and get me to school in time for my exam. then thank god this super-friend,tannie, a very kind soul decided to save this damsel in distress and get her to school in time. (he likes to call himself the superhero =.=')

p/s- thanks again tannie if you are reading this =)

spm 2007

like many of you guys should have known by now, maddy was admitted in the hospital for food poisoning. so i gotta do my 1st 5 papers (bm,eng,sej,maths,est) in the hospital. but hey it was fun doing it in the hospital k>i was treated lk a princess, doing my exam in a huge-arse room with AIR-CON and fluffy pillow and chair with my left hand pierced with the drip. -oh-so-much-funs-eh?

p/s-thanks to those who visited me and brought me sweet lil cards and sweets and made video in the hosp to cheer me up.

thanks to the aunty which stayed next to me and was so kind to off the tv and allow the lights to be on whole night long cz me was burning the midnight oil.

thanks to all who made my stay at the hosp just a tad sweeter =)

midyear SAM examinations ,june 2008

oh wells me got admitted into the hosp again. this time its due to some viral infection and me puking non-stop.there goes the exams.stayed in the hosp for 6 days?omg.i nearly screamed my heart out.

p/s-thanks to those who visited me...college frens...my babes...bringing lil gifts and well wishes =)

thanks to darl ting who came back from aussie without telling me then decided to literally pop outta nowhere to surprise me in the hosp.

SAM trials 15th sept 2008

my car masuk hospital pulak....

SEE...i told you people i got no fate with examinations!!!!!

mummy!!!!faster come and fetch me....i have 2 violin classes and a tonne of chemistry to finish up by tonight...

oh she heard me,she came when i was just writing that =)

dear god,
please let me get thru my trials
i need YOUR help now
thank you Lord
amen.